Obscure Summer Olympic Sport

Before I go into my Obscure Summer Olympic Sport, I want to give a little history.  This whole idea began with the 2010 Winter Olympics.  The Winter Olympics are a gold mine of obscure sports.  Well, at least for a lifelong resident of the mid-Atlantic region of the US.  Curling, Biathlon, Nordic Combined, Luge, Skeleton, Ski Jumping, even Cross-Country Skiing, are all obscure here.  I have grown to love the obscure Winter Olympic Sports.  In 2010, I adopted Nordic Combined as my favorite Obscure Winter Olympic Sport.

Nordic Combined is a competition that combines the two Nordic sports of ski jumping and cross-country skiing.  Odd how that works with the name, huh?  Prior to 2010, the US had never won a Nordic Combined Olympic Medal.  This goofy little sport fit perfectly for what I was looking for.  It was obscure, it was relatively easy to understand (if you don't really care how ski jumping is scored), it didn't require a great time commitment (the jumping is done in tape delay relatively quickly, most of the skiing takes less than half an hour), and the US had not been very successful (if you count no medals ever not successful), BUT the US was on the verge of a breakthrough.  I drank Nordic Combined like the elixir of life.  I loved every minute of it.  I was lifted by every triumph, and destroyed by every failure.  Of course, when the US has never won a medal in a sport, are there really any failures?

Well, we did break through.  With a vengeance.  The US won gold and silver in the individual large hill, silver in the individual small hill and the team silver medal.  So my choice was almost as good as the performances of Bill Demong, Johnny Spillane, Todd Lodwick and Brett Camerota.

Picking a Summer Sport has been more difficult.  It's hard to find a sport that fits all the criteria above.  Honestly, I think Nordic Combined in 2010 was the Perfect Storm, and those elements will never come together in such harmony again.  Because of this, I almost bailed on choosing an Obscure Summer Olympic Sport.  But I know at least one of you, and maybe up to three of you, are relying on me for this.  So I chose Kayak.

I chose Kayak mainly because the Olympic course looks like a water slide on steroids, and I would love to go for a ride.  Riding on a raft would probably be best, but I would like to try with nothing but a bathing suit.  Kayak works because it is obscure as competitive sports go, it is certainly not overhyped by NBC, and we don't have a great history of success in Olympic Kayak (16 total medals, five gold, five silver and six bronze - good for 12th all time in combined Canoe and Kayak.)  Plus, it looks cool, and very hard.

I am focusing on the individual slalom race.  The slalom races have been in the Olympic program seven times:  in 1972 and every year since 1992.  Not sure what happened from '76-'88.  The racers go down a course and have to go through a series of numbered gates.  Some of these gates are down stream and some are upstream, meaning the racers have to turn around and fight the current to go through the gates.  If you are lucky, someone will flip over and go through a gate upside down.  Not only does that create visual hilarity, it also results in a whopping 50 second penalty.  Unlike skiing, the racers are not allowed to touch the gates.  And the gates hang from the sky, as if being held by angels.

The Men's final was today.We didn't win a medal.  The women's final is tomorrow.  We won't win a medal.  But at least I learned a little something choosing my Obscure Summer Sport.  And isn't that really the point.  (No, US domination is the point, but I chose poorly and had to justify my choice in some way.  Like I said above - Perfect Storm.)

Today's Olympic Story Line - I'm sure you have heard about this one - Badminton disqualifications.  Eight Badminton players have been disqualified, not for cheating, but for intentionally trying to lose.  The purpose was to set up an easier path in the knock-out rounds.  Except for the Chinese.  They were trying to avoid meeting another Chinese duo until the Finals.  Watch the highlights.  This is hysterical.  They are blatant.  Hitting serves directly into the net; watching the birdie fall to the ground easily in bounds; and obviously not trying.  If you want to throw the game, you can do it without announcing to the world what you are doing.

Of course, this leads to another question - should they have been disqualified?  This is a tough question.  On one hand, no one wants people intentionally throwing a game.  On the other hand, the Olympics is full of competitors not giving their best effort at the end of a qualifying, competition to save themselves for the medal competition.  You see it frequently in swimming and even more so in track.  I say the IOC did the right thing.  Easing up because you think you have already qualified is one thing.  Ryan Lochte basically stopped trying at the end of the preliminary heat of the 400 IM, but he didn't intentionally lose.  If you go out there in Olympic competition and try to lose, you should be thrown out.  If you are saving yourself for a later round, and because of this you happen to lose, well that's just the way things work.

Reflections on What Has Happened (Focus for this will be on US sports and medals, but we will touch on other stuff as time permits) -

1.  I saw a Judo match yesterday.  An American was in the semifinals.  He had his eye wrapped from a blood-producing injury and his judo uniform was all dishevelled.  He and some other dude spent eight minutes grabbing each other, falling on the ground, rolling around, stopping and then repeating the process.  Neither one scored a point and the match went to a judge's decision.  The American lost.  I have no idea how neither one scored a point or why the American lost.  This sport makes no sense.  My wife watched for about a minute, then looked at our three boys and said "Hey, that looks like what you guys do."  The American then fought in the Bronze medal match.  I saw these two people fall to the ground about 25 times in five minutes.  The other guy got one point and won 1-0.  I have no idea why one fall resulted in a point, and the other 24 didn't.  Maybe I should make Judo my Obscure Sport in 2016 so I can figure out this bafflingly odd sport.

2.  Women's Soccer won 1-0 over North Korea.  Alex Morgan and Abby Wambach are simply awesome.  I would risk my marriage for one night in the Olympic Village with either one.  Alex is simply gorgeous.  Abby makes me understand how ugly NBA players have women throwing themselves at them.  (I am not saying Abby is ugly, she's just not Alex.)  She is SO good and SO confident that she is damn sexy.  This partly explains why the Olympic Village is one big sex party.

3.  The US rules the world of skeet shooting.  Vincent Hancock won the Men's gold medal.  He also won in 2008, leading to my new favorite Olympic phrase:  "Skeet Repeat."

4.  The Pixie Parade (I refuse to call them the Fab Five or the Fantastic Five out of respect for the Beatles and Kung Fu Panda, respectively) won an expected gold medal in Women's Team Gymnastics.  Sometimes the hardest thing to do is win with expectations.  I am happy for the Pixie Parade, although I wish NBC would acknowledge that they were trying to win for themselves, their teammates and their country.  Not for Jordyn Weiber.  Jordyn didn't need her teammates to pick her up.  Remember, two of them were the ones who put her down.

5.  Phelps lost the 200 Fly.  I am literally speechless.  I hope you didn't take my advice on that parlay bet.

6.  The US won the Men's 800 free relay.  Rowdy Gaines needs to get fired.  I will get all of this off my chest now and then leave it alone.  Rowdy, a few things - 1.  Water is see through.  A freestyler can see the other swimmers even if he isn't breathing in their direction.  2.  Lane lines reduce drafts and you can't get a draft off another swimmer in another lane.  Even if you can, all that means is you are at least a half a body length behind.  3.  Watch the race and comment on what is happening, not what you thought would happen.  Stop pretending that what you thought would happen is what is actually happening.  4.  If you miss something, admit it.  Don't spend 20 seconds talking about how terrible Missy Franklin's backstroke start was then try to claim credit for correctly stating that she was taking the first 25 easy.  That's not what you said.  5.  Yannick Agnel is having a great Olympics, but he is NOT going to make up 2 seconds in the anchor leg of the 800 free relay on the best swimmer who ever lived, much less the 3+ he was behind.  The relay was not dramatic.  Stop pretending like France had any chance.  This goes along with #3 above.  (For the record, Agnel's split was less than a second faster than Phelps, which should surprise no one, except maybe Rowdy Gaines.)

7.  Allison Schmitt's 200 freestyle was the most dominant performance I have seen in this year's Olympics.  Shet took the "Get the lead early, extend it, extend it some more, then win by a lot" strategy.  And she reminds me of Beaker.

8.  Rogers and Dalhausser won in 3 sets.  My Volleyball Insider told me this was a typical Rogers win.  Just wear down the opponent.  Sounds like Iceman from Top Gun:  Goose:  "Iceman. It's the way he flies, ice cold, no mistakes. He wears you down, you get bored--frustrated--do something stupid and he's got ya."

Predictions Sum Up -

1. Phelps wins 200 fly. US wins 800 Free Relay. There will be no better parlay bet in one swimming session than these two races. Phelps has looked mildly vulnerable, but he will become the first male swimmer to win the same event in three Olympics and break the record for most total medals won in an Olympic career.  -  WRONG - See above for specifics, but you make a parlay bet, you have to get them all right.  Phelps is the all time record holder in Olympic medals, though.

2. There will be more doping rumblings after Shiwen Ye wins the 200 IM.  -  Pending

3. The US still wins nothing in Badmitton.  -  Pending

4. Rogers and Dalhausser win in efficient fashion. - WRONG -but they did win.

5. Djokovic beats Roddick in tennis.  -  Correct

6. Thunderstorms prevent me from swimming tonight.  -  WRONG -2000 meters.

7. US Women win Team Gymnastics Gold. Then Jordyn Weiber has someone take out Gabby Douglas's knee a la Tanya Harding. (I kid, I kid - but I would still sleep with one eye open if I were Douglas or Raisman) - Correct and Pending

Predictions - 

1.  Misty and Kerri keep their "Never lost a set" streak alive tonight
2.  China wins gold in Men's Synchro Diving
3.  US gets a medal in All Around Men's Gymnastics, but not gold
4.  Kitajima fails to threepeat in 200 breastroke
5.  US women win 800 free relay
6.  Nathan Adrian gets silver in 100 free
7.  US fails to medal in women's 200 fly
8.  US women beat China in Women's Volleyball
9.  Someone will violate my Rule #1 Advice for Watching the Olympics tonight

What to Watch For -

1.  Medal Rounds beginning soon in volleyball, soccer, water polo, etc.
2.  Women's 800 freestyle relay - With Allison Schmitt winning gold and Missy Franklin missing bronze by .01, this should be about as close as the men's relay.
3.  Misty and Kerri - My Volleyball Insider tells me Kerri has pink eye.  What effect will that have?
4.  Links to hot athletes in various stages of undress - My "Mostly Naked Content" Editor has told me I am slacking in this area.  Will remedy that soon.
5.  More bad betting advice - although probably not until football season.
6.  A new section - My attempt to stop being a fat old man.  I am hoping the possibility of public shame will keep me motivated.