Wednesday, September 5, 2012

NFL Week 1 - Wednesday Game

This whole Wednesday game is going to throw me off.  I can't believe the NFL changed the game for the President.  That was a gift to the Democrats.  If they put a New York Giants v. Dallas Cowboys game up against the President's speech the game would lose not one decimal point of ratings.  But half the 37 people watching the convention would switch to the game.  This is not political, the same would be true for the Republicans.  I say this because I am simply unprepared to pick all 16 NFL games right now.  But I have to get my pick in for this game.  So this will be my shortest post ever.

Dallas @ NEW YORK GIANTS (-3.5) - Several years ago, actually a bit more than a decade ago I sent NFL picks to a few friends just for fun.  At that time, Eli Manning was at Ole Miss and I designated him as "Our Hero".  In addition to a few comments on the NFL games, I gave a summary of the results of "Our Hero".  Sadly, "Our Hero" was drafted by the Giants.  I am a Cowboys fan and my entire audience was made up of Eagles fans (hmmm...not much has changed in 15 years), so "Our Hero" became our enemy.  For a few years that was fine.  Eli put up some good games and some real stinkers.  He was always good for 4-5 bone-headed interceptions each year.  Then he started winning Super Bowls.  So now he is "Our Nemesis".  It continues tonight.

Dallas on the other hand is the exact opposite of synergy.  The Cowboys whole is equal to less than the sum of its parts.  Some will say this isn't true and that the "talent" on the Cowboys just isn't as good as people, particularly Cowboys fans, think they.  There may be some merit to this, but truthfully, I think they are just a bunch of arrogant jack-asses who think that because they are the Dallas Cowboys they should win, regardless of how hard they try or work.  Meanwhile, Tom Coughlin and the G-Men put on their hard hats and work hard every year, every game, and get a lot more out of their lemons than any other team.  Thus two Super Bowls in 5 years.  Keep in mind, I am a Cowboys fan.

That said, I will have faith that the Cowboys will get close enough to make this game a disappointment.  I see something like a missed field goal at the end, or a Giants field goal to win by one.  Giants win.  Cowboys cover.

The rest of the week will be covered on a later date.  Enjoy the opening of the NFL season.

Monday, September 3, 2012

The End of Summer

I grew up in the Commonwealth of Virginia, which is such an arrogant state that it insists on calling itself a Commonwealth, rather than a state.  There are five Commonwealths, I believe, and if you asked me to name them, I am pretty sure I could, but I will leave that as a little trivia question for you.  Here's a hint, one of them isn't one of the 50 states.  I bring this up for one real reason and one manufactured reason.  The manufactured reason is so I can call Virginia arrogant and subtly mock my home state for being a bunch of jack-asses.  The real reason is that most school systems in Virginia begin the new school year the day after Labor Day, so Labor Day truly is the end of summer.

I read a few years ago that the law stating that public schools will open after Labor Day is called the Kings Dominion Rule.  Kings Dominion is a theme park just north of Richmond that apparently lobbies the state legislature to keep schools closed until Labor Day, so kids can continue to go to the park right up until the last moment.  Even on "school days".  Labor Day is also the traditional closing of the pool day.  I just left my pool, which officially closes for the season in 19 minutes.  By the time I post this, the pool will be closed until late May.  Labor Day may as well be called "Black Monday" in my house.  That is how I felt about it when I was a kid.  End of pool, beginning of school.  Black Monday.

For the past few years, my family has gone on vacation the week before Labor Day weekend.  That really makes Labor Day feel like the end of summer.  The parents are coming off a week of vacation, the kids are coming off summer vacation and the pool is closed.  Here we are.  Black Monday.

Vacation as a parent is an interesting time.  We all agreed that this past week was the best vacation we have had as a family.  We went to Myrtle Beach, which we have done for the past 3-4 years.  This was the first summer two of our boys loved the ocean.  Eldest has always loved the ocean.  The very first day we took him to the ocean, when he was about 17 months old, he was cautious.  The next day, we turned our backs for a few seconds to unfold a couple chairs, and when we looked back he was running, already halfway to the water.  We learned that day not to turn our backs on him.  This year, he liked to go out where the water came up to his shoulders.  Still can't turn our backs on that one.

Middle has always loved the sand, but wanted nothing to do with the ocean.  This year he became a new person.  He loved the ocean and was absolutely crazy.  He ran around in the water; he jumped the waves; he got knocked over and came up laughing.  He even wanted to look for fish and crabs in the water.  I'm not sure what got into him, but it was fun.

Youngest did not like the ocean.  He really didn't like the sand for about half the trip either.  He did like making lobster sand molds.  So he was happy from time to time making an army of lobsters around him.  I can only presume that the army was intended to protect him from the sea.  He did come around a little in the end.  He would let his mother carry him into the water.  I guess that is what we have to call progress.

We also took our children on a time honored family vacation trip - the tourist destination.  We took a day away from the Atlantic and the pools to drive to Charleston and go to Fort Sumter and the USS Yorktown, a World War II air craft carrier.  I remember my parents dragging me to various tourist destinations as a child and almost always being miserable.  My wife has more positive memories of tourist destinations.  Our boys did OK, but I think they probably think we were trying to torture them.  They did enjoy the boat ride to and from Fort Sumter.  I personally loved the day and enjoyed the boat ride, the Fort and the Yorktown.  I think parents take their kids to places the parents want to see and justify it as a learning experience for the kids.  The boys did like the planes on the air craft carrier.  So I got that going for me.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end.  Vacation, summer, pool, weekend.  All we have left is Black Monday.  I was just talking to the Wife about how Labor Day really is the worst day of the year.  I know many people start school before Labor Day, so to them, this is a holiday to be enjoyed.  A small break from the beginning of school, but to kids in the Commonwealth (there it is again), Black Monday.

As for me, I found vacation to be relatively relaxing and a complete break from any attempts to exercise.  Vacation can be good or bad for me from the exercise perspective.  If I go with the right attitude and some momentum, I have, in the past, exercised quite frequently.  If I have a bad attitude, it can all fade away faster than an early morning fog.  At this particular resort, the swimming option is tough.  They have a pool that is rectangular in shape and does have lines on the bottom, but there are no lane ropes.  It is attached to other pools where people play.  Those people are usually children between the ages of 8 and 14.  I have swum in this pool before.  Those children pay no attention to what is going on around them and often interrupt my swimming.  I do not like this.  Outwardly, I stay calm.  Inside I imagine new and interesting ways to drown them.  I am good enough and comfortable enough in water to drown them.  I never would, but I imagine it.  This year, I didn't want to imagine drowning random children.  So I took the week off.  I could have run, but I didn't.  I found myself justifying things like walking around an air craft carrier or carrying a three year old up four flights of steps as my exercise.  Then I rewarded myself with a Cherry Coke.  There were lots of rewards.

Back to Black Monday.  I got back in the water today.  I didn't want to.  I planned to just skip it.  But I knew I needed to post, and Black Monday just seemed a little bit more the end of everything if I got one more "free" swim in.  Now I need to come up with something else to do or bite the bullet and start paying for pool time.  We will see what happens.

I hope Black Monday was good to you.  In the next several months we will explore the beginnings of school, fall sports, and more life as a suburban dad.  And continue to see if the Suburban Dad can find the time and motivation to exercise.

Things to Watch For:

Week One of my NFL Picks against the spread.  That means no more 10 day gaps between posts.

Summer Wrap-Up.  I'll get to it.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Fat Old Man Update

During London 2012, I established various sections of this Blog.  We initially had "Reflections on What We Have Seen", "Predictions", "Predictions Wrap-Up" and "What to Watch For".  After the Olympics inspired me to exercise more, I added the "Fat Old Man Update".  This title seemed to make sense because, well, I am fat, I am old and I am a male over the age of 18, so technically I am a man.  Although some may argue I still have the mentality of a boy.  "Some" being the woman who sleeps next to me at night.

As we move forward, we will change these sections.  "Predictions" doesn't seem quite as relevant, because this will not be a day to day Blog discussing the events of a 17 day non-stop athletic competition.  "Predictions Wrap-up" probably goes too.  As does "Reflections on What We Have Seen".  I don't think I need to specify that I am reflecting on what I have seen, since the title of the Blog is "Observations of a Suburban Sports Dad."  I will give my NFL picks.  I will comment on life as a parent of growing and active children.  I will keep the "Fat Old Man Update."  "Some" would be unhappy if I stopped subjecting myself to public shame for being a slacker.

I wasn't always fat.  At one point in my life I was in excellent shape.  Years and years of swimming will do that.  If you want proof, look at Ryan Lochte...and every other male swimmer in the Olympics.  I am not comparing myself to Ryan Lochte, or anyone else who made the Olympics, but he is an example of the swimmer's body.  I was at least in the ballpark.  I didn't have women galore swooning over me and I never got to party with royalty, but I was in decent shape.  Upon seeing a picture of me in college a few years later a friend's girlfriend asked my Mother, "Who is that?"  When told it was me, she responded, "Wow, Dan was hot."  Was.  Thanks for the past tense.  That was 13 years ago.  Needless to say I have grown a bit more since then.

Another fun example of realizing I am not the potential sex symbol I once was also occurred about 12 years ago.  I went to watch a friend play in a volleyball tournament.  It was hot, and I have never been shy, so I took my shirt off.  Someone mentioned that I was looking a little plump.  I then noticed that the two chubbiest people in the group of spectators were the two who had been college athletes.  That was a touch depressing.

I think my experience as a college athlete is the primary reason I am now a fat old man.  I never learned to exercise for the sake of exercising.  I also never learned to self motivate.  All I had to do was show up at the pool at the designated time and someone else told me what to do.  I never understood the people who set aside their own time to go to the gym or go for a run instead of playing Sega Hockey.  Also, getting 2+ hours of high quality exercise everyday at the age of 20, give or take a couple years, allowed me to eat anything I wanted.  The days of a bag of Utz BBQ potato chips and a Coke for breakfast, followed by another Coke to wash it all down, are hard to let go of.  Even when such dietary habits just don't feel as good anymore.

Now, "Some" will tell you I am not fat.  "Some" will say I just have a little belly, not unlike many other people who recently crossed the threshhold of 40 years old.  But, according to to the National Institute of Health Body Mass Index Table, at 5'9" and about 205 lbs., I am not just overweight.  I am obese.  I am happy to admit my flaws, and I am definitely a bit chubby.  I will gladly joke about being a fat old man and admit that it is closer to reality in both size and age than I would like.  But even I think it is a little much to call me obese.  Of course, I have spent a great deal of time searching my walls and academic credentials and I still can't find that medical degree.  Someone thinks I am obese and that person knows more about it than I do.  It just makes me wonder what you call the people who are much larger than I am.  I thought obese was the pinnacle, the crest of Everest, the ultimate goal.  Maybe we should adopt Gabriel Iglesias's Five Levels of Fatness:  Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy and DAMN!

At a minimum (pun intended), I would prefer to avoid reaching DAMN! in my lifetime.  Hence, the Fat Old Man Update.  In the future, I will give more anecdotes (a la my comment about my ego forcing me to swim faster so people don't swim as fast as me) and less generic factual information (Swam 2000 meters Friday.)  I will continue to reveal my innermost secrets of exercise (or not), and hope that on more than one occassion, I will be motivated to do something simply because I don't want to have to admit to you that I sat on my butt, rather than go exercise.  On that note, it has not been a good exercise week.  I swam on Friday night, but have not entered a pool since.  I did clean a lot around the house and move some furniture, and I have been having some health issues, but a slacker I have been.  Vacation should be interesting.

As a parent, though, it is tough.  Between taking the kids to school, going to work, taking this kid to soccer practice and that one to swim practice, homework, bills, housework, yardwork, volunteer obligations, getting the baby (who is really almost three, but in our house we have "the boys" and "the baby") to bed at a reasonable time, getting the boys to bed at a reasonable time, spending quality time with the kids and occassionally paying attention to the wife, it is not easy to find time to exercise.  My wife read somewhere that parents should make a point of exercising, even if it takes them away from the kids, to show their children that exercise is important and to keep the parent healthy so the parent will be around longer in life.  I think that person just didn't like their kids and used exercise as an excuse to get away.  Either way, it works as an excuse.  It's for the children.

Those are the reasons I will be keeping the Fat Old Man Update.  And I am sure that in 12 months I will still be fat, I will still be old, and I will still be male.  But let's wait and see.

Things to Watch For:

I will also be keeping this section.  Here I will offer sports things to watch for on TV, things that are going on in my little suburban enclave, and hints as to future things you can find in this Blog.  Call it a teaser if you will.

1.  Summer Sports Summary - I will do this, but right now it looks like it won't happen until next summer.
2.  Vacation Review - Right now, watching potential hurricanes.
3.  Football starts - College and Pro.  Back by popular demand will be my NFL picks against the spread.
4.  Fall Sports begin - The call for more coaches has already been made.  Can I resist?  Will I?
5.  The reason I want to resist coaching.
6.  More wit and wisdom from yours truly.

My new favorite quote (This is a random section.  As I see things I just feel like commenting on, I will make up a section to bring it up):

"It seems to me first of all from what I understand from doctors that's really rare.  If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down."

You have to love the idiocy of this quote.  I won't even go into the difference between "legitimate" rape and "illegitimate" rape.  I want to focus on "shut[ting] that whole thing down."  I never learned about this magical power in sex education.  I taught a human sexuality class at my church this past year and never told the girls that they have the power to "shut that whole thing down."  Even the wording of it is just awesome.  The only problem is, as a parent, I now have a problem.  When I tell my kids to study so they can become a productive member of society how do I counter the argument that they don't need to study, because you can be a moron and run for the US Senate.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Good Bye, Old Friend

Sorry for the delay in my "Good-Bye, Old Friend" post.  Sadly, I have a job that requires my attention.  I also have a family and had to re-acquaint myself with my wife after a two week affair with the best athletes in the world.  An unexpected trip out of town caused more delay.

For two weeks and a couple days I gave everything I had to the party in London.  I watched all of the swimming finals, most of the track and field finals, the triathlons, some of the marathon swimming races, some of the marathons, a little synchro, a lot of gymnastics, a lot of volleyball-both indoor and outdoor, some water polo, a lot of women's soccer, very little men's soccer, a little badminton, a little table tennis, judo, BMX, cycling - road and track, trampoline, rhythmic gymnastics, archery, basketball, shooting, canoe and kayak, diving, field hockey, tennis, handball, weightlifting, and, on the final day, a decent amount of the modern pentathlon.  I ignored my wife, blew off my children and generally treated the rest of the world, except for you, as an unnecessary distraction.  Then, in the middle of a very random British concert, it was over.

The end of the Olympics, whether summer or winter, feels to me like an old friend who came to visit has now left.  This is a close friend, who came to visit alone, and is from college, or just after college, when I was still young and single.  We spent much of the time trying to re-live those college or early post-college days, acting like we were once again young and single, with no cares or responsibilities.  We did add a few new things to our repertoire, but generally we acted like the idiots we once were.  After two weeks of this, I need a break.  I am sad my friend left, but I need a little more sleep, a little more routine, and, honestly, a little less fun.  I need to become the 40 year old me with a wife and three kids again, instead of the 23 year old me who could drink until 3 am and sleep until noon.

Although I needed my friend to leave, there is definitely a void in my life now.  Monday night was spent wandering around the house trying to figure out what to do.  (I love my Cowboys, but pre-season football just doesn't cut it for me.)  I am glad for the respite, but I already miss my friend.   The better part of me knows that I can not live with this friend anymore.  He takes too much time and effort, and I just don't have that much energy.  I know he will return in 18 months.  In many ways, I can't wait.

With that said, we do need to wrap things up, so let's get to it.

Reflections on What Has Happened For the Last Day and a Half, see Below for Awards on the Games as a Whole-

1.  Meb got 4th in the Men's Marathon.  It seems to me that the Americans earned a lot of 4th places.  Meb had the right attitude, saying it was the worst place to get in the Olympics, but 4th in the world is pretty good.  I think earning a bunch of 4th places and winning the medal count is kind of like Jack Nicklaus's majors record.  The 18 majors is incredible, but when you combine that with 19 second places, Wow!  That guy was good.

2.  The Marathon is just incredible.  I could hang with those guys for about 30 feet.  Then they run 26+ more miles at the same pace.

3.  When you watch team synchronized swimming, you can't help thinking "This is the dumbest thing in the Olympics."

4.  Until you change the channel and find Team Rhythmic Gymnastics.

5.  Then they show the race walking, at which point you have to turn the TV off, because race walking is the dumbest thing ever created.  Just ahead of the Pet Rock.

6.  The Modern Pentathlon is a combination event that includes fencing, swimming, horse riding, running and shooting.  It is supposed to be the skills a soldier stuck behind enemy lines would need to get back to safety.  I think this is an interesting concept.  This year, they made it even better.  All five disciplines were contested on the same day, and the shooting and running were combined into one event, biathlon style.  I saw the women's competition and it was awesome.  The run/shoot event comes at the end and the competitors start in intervals based on where they stand after the first three events, so the winner is the first person to finish (unlike the decathlon).  The run is cross country style over a 1000 meter loop and the competitors run three loops, stopping before each loop to shoot.  It was exciting, dramatic and fun.  Of course, an American finished 4th.

6.  Nice gold for David Boudia in 10m Platform Diving.  Any time we can get a gold while simultaneously taking one from China is a good time.  For some high quality entertainment, watch bronze medalist Tom Daley and his teammates performing "I'm Sexy and I Know It."

7.  Closing ceremony was pretty good.  A little weird, but fun.  Brits did well.


Predictions Wrap Up -

1. I will sleep well Sunday night.  WRONG  - I was tired, but didn't have a great night of sleep.  Probably felt bad because I hadn't written this Post.

2. Jamaica blows our doors off in the 4x100.  Correct - But this was a fabulous race.  The US 4x100, which has had a myriad of problems in recent events, broke the old world record, but came in behind the deep Jamaicans.  Second relay we lost to a Carribean island nation with a fraction of our population.  I thought we ran well, though.  Jamaica was just better.

Olympic Awards (Based on my Personal Feelings):

1.  Best Athlete - Abby Wambach.  She is fierce, competitive, insightful, humble, arrogant, dominant, a good teammate, an awesome athlete, a mentor, a friend, the first woman to score a goal at Old Trafford and beatiful inside and out.  I can not say how much I love Abby Wambach.  She won her gold medal.  (She missed 2008 with an injury.)  She also did this while getting beat up by every team.  A Colombian sucker punched her, the Canadians knocked her around, and in the Canada game, she was everywhere.  All around phenomenal performance

2.  Best Olympian - Missy Franklin.  What's not to love?  She is everything Abby Wambach is and only 17.  I distinguish Missy from Abby because the swimmers, unlike the soccer players, get to experience the Olympics.  Olympic soccer is like the World Cup.  The team travels all over the country to play and give other cities the chance to experience the Olympics.  Swimmers stay in the Village and are the heart of the Olympics for the first week.  At least for Americans.  Missy did everything you could have asked and enjoyed every second.  She just seems like someone who squeezed every last drop of life out of her Olympic experience.

3.  Best Moment - Katy Ledecky wins 800 freestyle.  So much bias in this pick, but to see a 15 year old, from my area, who swims for my old team, go out and dominate an event in front of a crowd roaring for the woman next to her (Rebecca Adlington - the British defending gold medalist and world record holder) moves me every time I see or hear anything about it.  The Olympics provides so many great moments and stories.  Everyone has there own opinion, this one does it for me.

4.  Best Story - This is impossible to choose.  From Allyson Felix getting gold, to badminton players expelled for tanking matches, the Olympics give you stories galore and we really only know about 10% of them.  I have given many story lines over the past three weeks.  Some were little known, some were the big stories of the day.  I tried not to repeat, but I will now.  Here are some of my favorite stories of the Olympics:
Kayla Harrison
Badminton Scandal
Liu Xiang - watching him fall, then hop to the last hurdle, kiss it, and leave the Olympics, probably for the last time, was heart-breaking.
Misty and Kerri
Guor Marial

5.  Best Celebration - Mo Farah running off the track while slapping his bald head after winning the Men's 10,000.

6.  Most Dominant Performance - US Women's 4x100m Relay and Allison Schmitt in the Women's 200 Freestyle (tie).

7.  Worst Hosing by NBC - Women's Indoor Volleyball Final.  NBC "showed" the indoor women's volleyball gold medal game during their primetime telecast on Saturday night.  The US won the first set easily.  NBC then went to commercial and came back with the US down 2-1 in sets and losing the third set.  WHh-wha-wha-what happened?  How did we lose two sets?  Why did they cut it off?  I will generally defend NBC's prime time tape delayed coverage, but this was ridiculous.  I know Americans don't generally want to watch American lose, but I would have liked to have seen what happened.

8.  Worst Sport - McKayla Maroney.  This story is too big for me to go into it anymore.  She looks like a saucy minx, even when not sneering on the medal stand.  Keep her away from your boys.  Honorable Mention to Qui Bo, silver medalist in the Men's 10m Platform diving.

 9.  Hottest Sport - Women's Field Hockey.  I saw very little of this, but the New Zealand team's average hotness rating on a scale of 1-10 would be about 8.2.  When they played the Netherlands, the average went up.

10.  Biggest Non-Story - Women's Beach Volleyball Outfits.  This was a relatively big story pre-Olympics which was a nothing in the games.  They wore tight pants and/or shirts when it got cold.  It was still a high quality athletic competition, and the sexiness rating was basically unaffected.  Nice job by both American squads for wearing only long-sleeve shirts when not in bikini tops and not feeling the need to put their bikini tops over the long sleeve shirts.  The one complaint I would have is how stupid it looks to wear a bikini top over a tight long sleeve shirt.

Predictions -

1.  I will keep this up.

What to Watch For -

1.  New Sections of this Blog, as they become necessary.
2.  Fall soccer for two boys, winter swimming for one boy, winter basketball for two boys, what sports do they play in the spring.  Basically, I become a Dad rather than an amateur Olympic Blogger.
3.  Football predictions.
4.  Will I keep swimming?
5.  Will I actually sign up for a Masters Swim Meet?
6.  Wit and wisdom on all sorts of subjects.
7.  Generally, more Observations from a Suburban Sports Dad.

Fat Old Man Update-

Swam 2200 meters on Saturday.
Swam 1700 meters on Sunday before getting cut off by the mean lifeguard setting up for a party.
Went to Indianapolis, so no swimming since Monday.  Hoping thunderstorms don't cut off Friday.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

You are Beautiful

One of the great things about the Olympics is that we get a chance to observe and celebrate the human body.  From swimmers, both female:




and male:

Nathan Adrian Interviewed

 to volleyball, both indoor:

jovana brakocevic 2 Jovana Brakocevic

 and outdoor:

Olympics Day 7 - Beach Volleyball

and even men:

beach volleyball players 3

To weightlifters:

Zoe Smith

and cyclists:

Bradley Wiggins sits on a throne after his victory in the time trial

even judo:

Gemma Gibbons

and sailing:

Bruno Fontes - Olympics Day 5 - Sailing

The human body is on display.  Our collective obsession with the beauty of Olympic athletes is demonstrated by the number of websites giving us a gallery of photos.  From the New York Daily News, to Mens Health to Yahoo to Shape and literally dozens, if not hundreds, of others, if you want to see a hot Olympian, you don't need to try to hard.  There are even lists that try to narrow it done to one per country.

There are certain staples in these list.  Every list is required to have at least one tennis player:



Alex Morgan is ever present :

Alex Morgan - Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2012


Ryan Lochte is getting a lot of play (on these lists and, if you believe the stories about him, also in the Olympic Village):

ryan-lochte-karlie-kloss-4-by-annie-leibovitz1

Lolo Jones is a constant:

Image: Lolo Jones

as is Darya Klishina:

Darya Klishina

These lists are subjective and claim to be ranking different things, such as bodies, sexiness or overall hotness.  Certain people make the lists based, in part, on their position in the world of sport.  Jessica Ennis is the "it" girl of British track and field, winning the Olympic Heptathlon:

Jessica Ennis

Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings are attractive women, but hardly stand out in the world of women's beach volleyball:

Misty May-Treanor & Kerri Walsh
 
They have, however, dominated the Olympics for eight years (as one friend of my Volleyball Insider said, "They bageled the world" (21-0)), so their relative hotness goes up.
 
 
phelps swimmer swimmers swimming olympic olympics
 
 

 
 
Ryan Lochte and Missy Franklin
 
but 22 medals, including 18 gold, makes him all the more attractive.  Success is, after all, sexy.  So Phelps finds himself on some of these lists, both with and without his more drooled upon teammates.

 We should, however, admire the human body in all its forms.  This is, after all, the body of an Olympic gold medalist, and a record Olympic performer:

Kim-Rhode_001

Mary Whipple, all 5'4" and 104 lbs, is a two time gold medalist:



Gabby Douglas looks like a stiff breeze would knock her over:

Gymnast Gabby Douglas, poses for a portrait during the 2012 Team USA Media Summit on May 14, 2012, in Dallas, Texas.  <span class='credit'>(Nick Laham | Getty Images)</span>

This too, is what an Olympic Gold medalist looks like:



Even those who don't win medals, such as Holley Mangold:

Holley Mangold of the US Olympic Weightlifting team poses for pictures during a photo session during the 2012 Team USA Media Summit on May 13, 2012 in Dallas,Texas.   AFP PHOTO/JOE KLAMAR        (Photo credit should read JOE KLAMAR/AFP/GettyImages)

should be admired for the beauty and power of their bodies

Our infatuation with Olympic bodies truly knows no boundaries.  Other countries have the same infatuation.  As do women and gay men.  During the beach volleyball competition, I heard that, at a tournament in Brazil, Olympians and silver medalists, Jen Kessy and April Ross:

April Ross, center left, and Jen Kessy won the world championship in 2009.

were told they couldn't compete because their suits were too BIG.  Perhaps in Rio 2016, the beach volleyball players will compete naked.  That should increase viewership, but won't exactly be an eye-opener in Brazil:






ESPN agrees that Olympians, and athletes in general, are beautiful.  Their recent body issue showed us what a gymnmast, male basketball player, female basketball player, soccer player, sprinter, decathlete, fencer, sailor and volleyball team looks like in all their glory.

This:

Brooklyn Decker

is the classic shape of beauty in America.  But, why do we admire this body (she needs a donut):


Bikini Mixer, Tops & Bottoms $19 & Up
more than this body:

Missy Franklin

 (she deserves a donut).  The Olympics shows us what the body can:

Carmelita Jeter

and in many cases should be:



So let's enjoy them, the games and the bodies, in all their glory.  Here's a little sampling:

Allyson Felix
(US Sprinter)



David Boudia
(US Diver)

David Boudia


Nicole Reinhardt
(German kayaker - maybe I should stick with kayaking as my obscure Olympic Sport)


Nicole Reinhardt Nicole Reinhardt G2

Trey Hardee
(US decathlete)






Today's Olympic Story Line - The Marathon.  Everyone knows the story to some extent.  After winning the Battle of Marathon, some Greek dude named Pheidippides ran to Athens to announce the Greek victory over the Persians.  He got there, said, "We won!" then dropped dead.  The idea of turning something that killed a guy into a competition comes from the same mindset as Strongman competitions.  The current distance of the marathon is approximately the same distance Pheidippides ran on that fateful day in 490 BC.  Legend has it that the current distance is 26 miles, 385 yards, instead of an even 26 miles because, at the 1908 Olympic Marathon in London, the Queen wanted the race to go past the royal nursery so the children could see it.  I have no idea if this is true, but I love the story.  It perfectly demonstrates the idiocy and randomness of why certain things are the way they are.

The men's marathon is Sunday morning.  The women's was last week.  The women's marathon debuted in 1984 and remains one of my favorite Olympic stories.  Apparently, women didn't compete in the marathon until 1984 because the stodgy old men who ran the Olympics didn't think the women could handle it.  That and the Soviets kept it out because they didn't have any good women marathoners.  In 1984, the vote on the women's marathon was held while the Soviet delegate was sightseeing in LA.  I like to think he was at DisneyWorld.  The marathon debuted and Joan Benoit won the first gold medal.  The sight and sound of the LA Coliseum erupting as little Joan Benoit ran through the tunnel in her white hat is one of the iconic images of the Olympic Games.  All the women waited until everyone finished.  They celebrated together, the accomplishment they had all achieved.

Reflections on What Has Happened (Focus for this will be on US sports and medals, but we will touch on other stuff as time permits) -

1.  Both open water swim races are finished.  Haley Anderson of the US won silver.  She missed gold by 0.4 seconds.  That is almost as ridiculous as a photo finish in the triathlon.  The open water swim races include a feeding station, where people stick out giant poles and the swimmers can grab something to eat or drink.  It looks like a bunch of people all trying to fish in the exact same place.  The men's race was won by Oussama Mellouli of Tunisia.  He won the bronze in the 1500 in the pool last week.  That is kind of like winning bronze in the 5000 meter run, then gold in the marathon a week later.  I hurt just thinking about it.

2.  US Women won Soccer Gold.  It's good that I am here to tell you, because I am sure no one knew this.

3.  US Women won Water Polo Gold.  I don't need to tell you about this game, because it was widely publicized.

4.  I love Allyson Felix.

5.  I love Abby Wambach.

6.  The women's 4x100 meter relay was awesome.

7.  I saw some BMX.  It reminds me of trampoline.  It is really cool for about 15 seconds, then you realize you are watching grown men or women ride a child sized bike in the Olympics and the utter stupidity of the concept makes you turn it off.  However, BMX has an ace up its sleeve.  The color commentator sounds just like Russell Brand.  So I watched for an extra few minutes hoping to hear him say, "I mean, I've heard that women do fake orgasms, but I've never seen it... It really, deeply upset me."

8.  Mountain bike race was cool.  Lots of good crashes.

9.  Why do they wear body armor in Taekwondo?

10.  The Bahamas should not beat us in anything.  How do they motivate to train?  It's either beautiful or a hurricane.

Predictions Wrap Up -

1.  Eaton wins without a world record.
Correct
2.  Hardee silver in decathlon.
Correct
3.  Bolt wins 200m.
Correct
4.  Spearmon gets silver.
WRONG - Jamaica sweep.
5.  US women beat Japan in soccer (yes, that is a biased prediction, but Abby won't let us lose this one.)
Correct

What to Watch For -

1.  Men's 4x100.  Watch us lose to another island nation with 2% of our population.
2.  Men's Marathon.
3.  Closing Ceremonies - the biggest party of the Games.
4.  PGA Championship final round.  Did you know other sports continued to play the last 2 weeks?
5.  Football.  Again, who is playing other sports during the Olympics.
6.  More wit and wisdom on other things.  Shockingly, I do know about other things.
7.  Final retrospective on London 2012.

Predictions -

1.  I will sleep well Sunday night.
2.  Jamaica blows our doors off in the 4x100.

Fat Old Man Update -

Had to work late Thursday, so no swimming.  2100 meters BEFORE Chipotle dinner on Friday.  That is a much better choice than last week.  Plus, no young women swimming next to me, so ego didn't come into play.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Beach Volleyball

As the 2012 Olympic Games move closer and closer to the Closing Ceremonies, I have to step back and look at what I have promised.  Yesterday, I gave my opinion on what should not be in the games.  I forgot to add a few sports.  Well, one.  Softball should be back in.  Baseball stays out on the "Pinnacle of the Sport" theory.  You could argue that it survives under the same rules as soccer, and you may be right, but baseball just doesn't seem right in the Olympics.  Maybe that's because Cuba usually wins.  When we are sending amatuers and others are sending de facto pros, eventually all doors will open.  There is no place for major leaguers in the Olympics, just like there shouldn't be NBA players.  So keep it out.

I have also promised more mostly naked athletes, local summer sports wrap ups, a Baltic States Post and a Beach Volleyball Post.  No one wants my Baltic States post, so I will keep that one in my back pocket for a slow time.  Mostly naked people are coming, but not today.  Today is my Beach Volleyball Post.  Seems appropriate as the most successful Olympic beach volleyball team (you can't argue that title) won their third and presumably final gold medal last night.

Beach Volleyball has become one of the "it" sports in the Olympics, at least for America.  It is up there with swimming, track and field, gymnastics and diving.  I say this because beach volleyball, along with swimming, track and field,  and diving regularly gets tape delayed to show on NBC's Prime Time show.  Not all of it, but various matches throughout the games were shown, in part or in full, in prime time.  This is hallowed status in US Olympics.  And like the other sports, beach volleyball disappears from most of America's consciousness until the next Olympic games.

There are many reasons beach volleyball has reached such high levels in Olympic coverage.  First, and most important, we are good at it.  Since Beach Volleyball debuted in 1996, the US has won seven medals, five of which were gold.  This is second all time behind Brazil's nine medals, but Brazil only has two gold.  It also helped that the biggest name in the sport, Karch Kiraly, won the first gold in Atlanta.  Generally speaking, the US audience likes US domination.  That is what the Olympics is about, really, no matter what a sometimes preachy blogger may have said a couple days ago.  There is a reason judo and badminton and team handball aren't on NBC and can only be found on random affiliate channels.  We suck.  No one wants to watch us suck, or try to figure out what MNE stands for.  (Bonus points if you know.)

Second, it is cool to watch.  There is a lot of action, it is relatively easy to understand (as long as you don't get a double touch call) and the athleticism is readily apparent.  Also, the time commitment is pretty minimal, with a match usually not lasting more than an hour.  All of this makes for a good spectator sport.

Third, skimpy bikinis and cheerleaders.  Let's be honest, sex sells.  Beach volleyball is the biggest pusher on the block as far as selling sex.  Amazingly, they sell the sex appeal of the women, basically ignore the men, but appeal to both women and men.  I think the competitors on the women's side have a lot to do with that.  They look sexy in their skimpy bikinis, but don't act sexy.  They just play hard.  So I can admire Marta Menegatti for how she looks in a bikini while my wife sympathizes with her as she cries after a loss.  Beach volleyball managed to go the "sexy chick" route without annoying Amertican women.  That was a coup.

FInally, and this relates to the first point, Misty and Kerri.  They are fun, they seem sincere and they dominate.  They make a great story.  A great story, plus skimpy bikinis, plus high level of watchability plus US domination equals a ratings bonanza.  That is what beach volleyball has.  Every four years.  Now if they could just figure out how to make people watch outside the Olympics.

In London, you also have the venue.  The beach volleyball was played at the Horse Guards Parade, which looks really cool.  My Volleyball Insider tells me that American Sean Rosenthal said it was the best venue he has played in.  This is in part due to the venue and in part due to the sand, we assume.  Packed sand helps jumpers.  At least before the competition got going, we assumed the sand was pretty packed.  I imagine rain packs it down some, too.

Brazil loves beach volleyball.  Brazil has beautiful beaches.  I suppose they may have already selected the venue for Rio 2016, but I haven't checked.  It won't have the historic backdrop of the Horse Guards Palace, but I think it will probably be pretty cool.  And somehing tells me there will be some sex appeal at the Brazil Olympic Beach Volleyball competition.  We may hear very little for the next four years, but beach volleyball will be back in Prime Time in four years.  Even if Misty is not.

Today's Olympic Story Line - Ashton Eaton.  Eaton broke the World Record in the Decathlon at the US Trials last month.  He is an overwhelming favorite to win the decathlon in London today, and at only 24 years old, could become only the third man to repeat as decathlon champion (I am getting a little ahead of myself here, but I have work to do, so let's assume he wins today and just go with this.)  The decathlon is a fascinating event.  The competitors truly want each other to do well.  In the long jump yesterday, one of the other competitors had fouled on his first two jumps and was facing a no score if he couldn't get a legal jump in his third attempt.  Eaton was encouraging him and the crowd before the third jump and visibly celebrated when his fellow competitor was legal.  Also, after the 1500, instead of the winner taking a victory lap, the field takes one together.  There is comradery in pain and suffering.  The 1500 will be on prime time tonight.  Watch to see if Eaton wins.  Watch to see if the US goes 1-2.  And watch to see a group of men who put themselves through hell every day for four years, and do it again for two more at the games, celebrate the competition and the accomplishment of finishing.

Reflections on What Has Happened (Focus for this will be on US sports and medals, but we will touch on other stuff as time permits) -

1.  Great day on the track for the US yesterday.  Gold in the Women's Long Jump (Brittney Reese); Gold and Silver in the Men's 110m Hurdles (Aries Merritt and Jason Richardson); Gold and Bronze in the Women's 200m (Allyson Felix and Carmelita Jeter); and Silver in the Women's 400m Hurdles (Lashinda Demus).

2.  Not so great day for US Men's teams - Volleyball swept by Italy; Water Polo trounced by Croatia.  No medals in either sport.

3.  Ashton Eaton and Tray Hardee are 1-2 after Day 1 of the Decathlon.

4.  Things are definitely winding down.  Prime Time coverage ended at 11:00 last night and NBC Sports Network coverage didn't start until 8:00 this morning.  Soon our old friend will leave us again.

5.  I have seen the gymnastics in extreme delay.  Aly Raisman's parents are insane.  They did a good job with their daughter, though.  She showed poise, graciousness and sportsmanship in victory and presumed defeat.  Odd that she and McKayla Maroney are teammates.

Predictions Wrap Up -

1. Misty goes out golden. Kessy gets the silver...and the pink.
Correct - Misty and Kerri have turned my wife into a vocal sports fan.  She cheers for them, distracts herself from the stress, kicks her feet with nervous energy and celebrates right there with them when they win.  After the match, watching the post match interview, she cried right along with Kerri.  These two have given us a lot over the last eight years.  Good luck to Misty and whatever she does in retirement (although I will be rooting against her husband) and to Kerri in her continued career.

What to Watch For -

1.  Decathlon Day 2.
2.  If you get a chance t see the Men's Beach Volleyball finals, watch Emmanuel Rego of Brazil.  Best Men's player in the game today (according to my Insider).
3.  Women's Soccer Finals - US v. Japan.  Do the women of the US get redemption from last year's World Cup Finals loss?
4.  Women's Water Polo Gold Medal Match:  US v. Spain
5.  Women's Indoor Volleyball Semis:  US v. Korea
6.  Men's 800m run - Nick Symmonds
7.  Men's 200m run - watch the greatest sprinter ever complete a repeat double

Predictions

1.  Eaton wins without a world record.
2.  Hardee silver in decathlon.
3.  Bolt wins 200m.
4.  Spearmon gets silver.
5.  US women beat Japan in soccer (yes, that is a biased prediction, but Abby won't let us lose this one.)

Fat Old Man Update -

2100 meters in the pool yesterday.  There was a young woman swimming in the lane next to me.  As far as I could tell she was going about as fast as I was.  Maybe a little faster, but I honestly am not sure.  We were doing different things, so it was difficult to gauge.  I have accepted a lot in my bigger and older body, but I don't like when people in a random recreational pool swim faster than me.  I think I pushed it a little, just because she was there.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Olympic Sports?

The first major controversy of the 2012 Olympics was in badminton.  I touched upon this in my August 1, 2012 post.  The day after the controversy, another person in my office was talking about it and I asked the same question I had asked in my post:  Should the transgressors have been kicked out of the Olympics?  The response was quick and loud, "Badminton shouldn't even be in the Olympics!"  I told him we could talk about that another day, but the conversation had been deflated by his, admittedly, quite funny and adament response.  I have promised in a couple of previous posts to give my opinion on what should, and more importantly, should not be in the Olympics.  We have about 5 days left, and once the flame is put out, interest in Olympic news and opinions will dwindle faster than a young woman's resolve to resist Ryan Lochte once he beams that boyish smile.  So now seems like as good a time as any.

We need to make a set of criteria.  First, and most importantly, the Olympics should be the pinnacle of the "sport".  If you ask the athletes whether they would rather win an Olympic gold medal or (blank) and the answer is not an Olympic gold medal, take it out of the Olympics.  As an example, I give you golf, which will return to the Olympics after a long hiatus in 2016.  Would a professional golfer rather win the Olympics or the Masters?  I feel fairly certain all but about three golfers would say the Masters.  SO DON'T PUT GOLF BACK IN THE OLYMPICS!  Sorry.

Second, the "sport" must require some level of athleticism.  Not a great level of athleticism, but some level of athleticism.  Unfortunately, I think this eliminates shooting.  I would argue archery survives.

Third, the "sport" can't be silly.  Bye-bye trampoline, rhythmic gymnastics and synchronized swimming.  I am not saying these "sports" do not involve great athleticism.  Synchro swimmers are in incredible shape.  But any "sport" in which the costume, makeup and hair play an important part in the event should be tossed.

Fourth, I will argue history matters.  If synchro was in Athens in 1896, I would give it a pass.  Archery made its debut in 1900, and has been contested in almost half the Olympics.  That may be enough history.  Some sort of shooting has been in all but two Olympic games, we'll look at that later.

Finally, the "sport" should somehow relate to the Olympic motto:  Citius, Altius Fortius (or Faster, Higher, Stronger).  If this is the motto, your "sport" should at least relate to the words in some way.

(I have been putting "sport" in quotes, because I have a very strict definition of a sport.  This can be discussed at another time.  From here on out, I will stop using the quotation marks, but do not think, even for a second, that I am admitting most of these are sports.  This is OK, though, because they are the Olympic Games, not the Olympic Sports.)

There are 32 sports in the 2012 Olympic Games.  Of these 32 sports, the following 18 are no brainers to keep:  boxing, canoe/kayak, diving, fencing, field hockey, gymnastics, team handball, judo, modern pentathlon, rowing, sailing, swimming, taekwondo, track and field, volleyball, water polo, weightlifting and wrestling.  Keep them in.  (Boxing stays in because it is amateur, so you can't argue that a professional title belt is more desired than a gold medal, because the people participating are not yet competing for a professional title belt.)

There are a few no-brainer cuts:

1.  Basketball - I loved the 1992 Dream Team, and it is great that the US can check off two gold medals every four years, but you ask LeBron James what is more important to him, winning a gold medal or finally getting that NBA title and I think we all know what he would say.  He is my representative sample, so get rid of basketball.

2.  Synchro Swimming, Rhythmic Gymnastics and Trampoline - Synchro started in 1984, Rhythmic Gymnastics started in 1984, Trampoline started in 2000.  Not enough history to overcome the silly factor.

3.  Table Tennis - Ping Pong is not inherently a silly activity, but the fact that it is in the Olympics is silly.  The fact that it is called Table Tennis, in a failed attempt to make it sound like the sport of tennis, instead of Ping Pong, makes it even sillier.  Started in the Olympics in 1988.  Not enough history to overcome the silliness of its presence.

This leaves us with 9 sports to question.  We will go through them quickly:

1.  Archery - I think having to pull back the bowstring, steady it and fire requires a minimum level of athletic ability.  It has history to 1900, but is hurt by a 52 year lay-off.  I don't find it silly.  You can argue that being stronger helps you pull the bowstring more taut (I sound like I know what I'm talking about, don't I) giving you a purer arrow flight.  I give it a yes.

2.  Badminton - It is a little silly.  It became an Olympic sport in 1992, so no real history.  It does require athletic ability.  Fits the motto.  May be the toughest one to decide, so we have to go to a tie-breaker:  Does it help China's medal count while hurting the US medal count?  Yes?  OK, it's out.

3.  Cycling - Track cycling is in, no brainer.  The only question is whether the Olympics are the pinnacle of road racing.  This is not an easy question.  The Tour de France is the pinnacle of the road racing tour sport.  But the Olympics is a one day road race and a time trial.  Road racing debuted in 1896, but took a twenty year hiatus.  So I am leaning yes.  I don't care about BMX.  Take it out.

4.  Equestrian - I want to argue to toss this ridiculousness, but it has history, requires some athletic ability, it isn't completely silly, it fits the motto, and I guess it is the pinnacle, or at least it is arguably the pinnacle.  So, I think it stays, but we need 50+ more guys falling off horses to keep us amused.

5.  Shooting - I struggle with this one.  The history is strong, making up for the utter lack of athleticism necessary to win.  Let's go to the tie-breaker question:  Does it help China's medal count while hurting the US medal count?  No?  (Although it is close.)  OK, keep it.

6.  Soccer - The question is the pinnacle of the sport, which is unquestionably the World Cup.  However, men's soccer is U23, so they save themselves from the chopping block based on that.  Women, I keep in too.  This may be pure rationalization, but I would argue the Olympic gold means as much, if not more, to the players than a World Cup victory.  So keep it.

7.  Tennis - Wimbledon v. Olympic Gold.  Please.  Why didn't I put this in the no-brainer cut category?

8.  Beach Volleyball - In light of the struggles beach volleyball has had the past few years, I have to assume that a gold medal is the pinnacle of the sport.  I say yes, but my Volleyball Insider may give me some info that changes my mind.  Plus, the skimpy bikinis merit acceptance in all its forms.

9.  Triathlon - The pinnacle of the sport is the Ironman World Championship.  But there is a HUGE difference between an Ironman race and an Olympic race.  So for Olympic distance, I am keeping it.

I was hoping to delete more than seven sports, but in the interest of objectivity, I created a standard and applied it.  Subjectively, I would have cut shooting, equestrian, field hockey and sailing, but I am nothing if not a fair man.

Today's Olympic Story Line - Misty May-Treanor.  Tonight, Misty May-Treanor will compete in the gold medal match of the Women's Beach Volleyball competition with her long time partner (and I don't mean that in a lesbian sense), Kerri Walsh Jennings.  After tonight, Misty will retire as a professional beach volleyball player.  Misty and Kerri are the two-time defending gold medalists in Women's Beach Volleyball.  Prior to 2012, they never lost a set in Olympic competition.  After winning their second gold medal in 2008, Misty went on Dancing with the Stars, where she ruptured her achilles tendon.  Kerri had two sons.  Misty had the achilles repaired, but did not intend to play in the 2012 Olympics.  She told Kerri to find another partner, which Kerri did.  However, something told Misty that they had unfinished business, so she came back, and Kerri and Misty have started up again, right where they left off.  Although they did lose one set this year in Olympic play.

My Volleyball Insider calls Misty the best beach volleyball player since Karch Kiraly.  He says the key to her game is ball control.  Particularly on the passes.  He has also talked about her court intelligence.  I have been able to pick up a little of this, but I am still a little too wowed by Kerri's blocks and spikes to fully appreciate what Misty brings to the court.  Or the sand.  But I am learning.  I plan to take advantage of my last opportunity to learn more.  I recommend you do the same.

Reflections on What Has Happened (Focus for this will be on US sports and medals, but we will touch on other stuff as time permits) -

1.  US advances in women's indoor volleyball, beach volleyball, water polo and basketball.  Not bad.

2.  I have seen almost no boxing.  Remember when boxing was huge in the Olympics.

3.  Nice job by Leo Manzano to get the first US medal in the men's 1500m run since Jim Ryun in 1968.

4.  Who would have thought Aly Raisman would be our most decorated gymnast?

5.  Great performance by the Brownlee Brothers (gold and bronze) of Great Britain in the men's triathlon.

6.  US-Australia Women's Water Polo Semifinal match was something.  Australia got a penalty shot with one second left in the match when the US coach called for a time-out without having possession.  (Hello, Chris Webber.)  Australia scored to tie the game and send it to overtime.  US won in OT.

7.  TV coverage is winding down.  You can tell we are on the homestretch of London 2012.

Predictions Wrap Up -

1. US women win both beach volleyball matches. 
Correct - Nice win for Kessy and Ross
2. Lolo doesn't get redemption. Harper wins gold in 100 hurdles.
Correct and WRONG - A sad fourth for Lolo, Pearson of Australia wins gold.  Silver for Harper
3. US Women win Water Polo semis v. Australia.
Correct
4. US Women's Indoor Volleyball wins quarterfinals making it 3 for 3 for US women in volleyball.
Correct
5. NBC tries to ram Synchro Swimming down our throats.
WRONG fairly limited coverage.  Still too much equestrian.

What to Watch for -

1.  Gold Medal Match in Women's Beach Volleyball - US v. US.
2.  US Men's basketball, if you like watching blowouts.
3.  US Men in Water Polo quarters.
4.  More Equestrian.
5.  More Sailing.
6.  Women's 200m - Alyson Felix.
7.  Men's 110 Hurdles.

Predictions -

Just one today

1.  Misty goes out golden.  Kessy gets the silver...and the pink.

Fat Old Man Update -

I had a weird night last night.  I had to pick up two of the boys at their grandparent's and take them home.  We expected a slightly later than normal evening, so I planned to take the evening off.  I even considered violating my Advice for Watching the Olympics #1.  However, after dinner, my wife told me I could go swim.  Then Eldest told me I should swim because I needed to exercise.  This "Fat Old Man" thing was supposed to be tongue in cheek.  Guess not.  2000 meters in the pool last night.