We Survived September

"We survived September."


Those were the first words (probably after "hello") The Wife said to me yesterday, when September ended and we finally entered October.  I guess it makes...what?...yesterday wasn't October 1?  WHAT DAY IS IT?


I kid because I love.  I know it's October 16.  My anniversary was just a few days ago.  Huh?  Really?  Not October 16?


Well, perhaps I should start over...nah.  Just plow ahead.


In all seriousness, those were the first words The Wife said to me on October 1.  They are true words.  September does seem to be the hardest month.  If you consider that all 3 boys are swimming right now, and all 3 boys are playing soccer right now, and all 3 boys are in school right now, and we try to start going to church again, and two of the boys are in Cub Scouts which starts anew in September, it kind of makes sense.  Of course, summer, with Kill the Family Tour combined with multiple swim meets is no breeze.  In the spring, we had 2 swimmers, 2 soccer players, a baseball player, a Cub Scout, school and me teaching 2 classes at church.  Winter comes with basketball and the dull, dreary days of swimming, plus there is no sun, and we have had A LOT of snow the past couple of winters.  Why is September so hard again?

Again, I kid because I love.


September is hard because we are getting back into the routine.  After a very busy summer, especially in 2014 and 2015 with Kill the Family Tour and Kill the Family Tour 2.0, we ease out of summer.  Swim practice ends.  The boys do no new sports.  We have no school, we don't go to church, the sun is out late and we end it with vacation.  One glorious week at the beach, with nice weather, the ocean, a round of golf, mini golf, the lazy river, a Japanese Steakhouse, a couple family movies, one last family day trip and a shark.  More on the shark later.


The last several years we have gone on vacation the last week of summer.  We enjoy this week, because most people are already back in school.  Traffic on I-95 is relatively light, the beach is not too crowded, restaurants are rarely full and things are just relaxed.  We go Saturday to Saturday, so we have 2 days after we return to get ready for the return to school on the Tuesday after Labor Day.  I have blogged in the past that Labor Day is the worst day of the year, which is true, because after all that loveliness I just described - BLAM!!! - everything starts up again.  Within 1 week of school starting we are back into every activity a suburban family of 5 can handle.


I think that is why September seems like the hardest month of the year.  We go from easy to vacation to insane.  Once we get into the routine, between soccer practices and swim practices, combined with my feeble attempts to swim at least a couple days/week, I am rarely home before 7:30 pm.  This year, on swim nights, I am getting home at 8:40 pm.  Then I eat dinner.  Between the 5 of us, if you include The Wife's time as a Den Leader and my time as a coach, we average 15 activities between Monday and Friday.  That includes 1 swim practice on Friday, so we are pulling 14 activities from Monday through Thursday.


I know I have written about this before, and I know we are not exceptional.  We know several other families in the same boat, and everyone is doing the best they can with it, but I am writing now for a few reasons.  First, it seems funny that The Wife said "We survived September" to begin a day that included school, work, three soccer practices and a Cub Scout meeting.  It isn't like surviving a marathon or surviving a war.  It wasn't over.  Not even close.


Second, our September schedule inspired a new phrase from The Wife, "Drive by Marriage."  We are like 2 ships passing in the night, rarely seeing each other and just blowing a horn to get each other's attention.  This is not my way of saying we have marital problems, because we don't.  This is just a funny way to describe a marriage of 2 working parents with active kids at active ages.  Again, we know several other families in the same, and sometimes an even more difficult, position.  I think it is just fun to have a phrase to describe it.  This summer, O4C, in an effort to make us a couple of the cool kids, encouraged us to use hashtags once we finally decided to get on Instagram.  We make jokes about it when we do, because we aren't cool, but it is fun to act like it.  Recently, my Volleyball Insider has gone hashtag crazy in our various email "discussions."  Just for fun.  I think I will see if I can make the term #drivebymarriage start to trend.  Hashtags are fun.


Third, I am writing about this because it got me to write again.  I have "written" several blog posts in my head over the past couple of months.  One about the summer, a couple about Kill the Family Tour 2.0, the shark (still coming), saying good-bye to O4C, my anniversary.  I have had a couple suggestions offered to me as well, which I still may use.  But I write when I feel motivated.  The fact that I was motivated to write about a comment that was said 3 weeks ago seemed funny to me; and appropriate.


As for #drivebymarriage, my anniversary was a couple weeks ago.  To celebrate, The Wife and I had Chick-Fil-A for dinner.  Separately.  She went with the Boys before soccer practice.  I picked mine up after soccer practice.  She went to a meeting when I got home.  I ate alone, while the Boys finished homework and got ready for bed.  I am not complaining.  This is the life we chose, and I wouldn't change much.  Winning the lottery would be a bonus, but that is hard to do if you never play.  Hard to do even if you do play.  We choose family over just about everything else.  And family means all of us, not just each other.  So, sometimes, the anniversary dinner gets delayed until we combine it with a birthday dinner.  In February.  Or April.  Or sometimes, we eat Chick-Fil-A, separately, and just laugh.  #drivebymarriage.


I guess it is also funny that we "survived" September because of the shark.  After a summer of shark attacks in the mid-Atlantic, we went to Myrtle Beach with no fear.  On September 2, I was playing in the ocean with all 3 boys, when a 5 foot shark swam right past us and headed back out into the ocean.  All things considered, that was probably the closest I came to not surviving September.  (Although, realistically, that shark didn't care at all about me.)  I brag about that story.  I love that story.  I saw a shark, in the wild, no more than 5 feet away from me.  I think that is pretty cool.  And I hope to never do it again.  The boys enjoy the story, too, and we all got back in the ocean, but with a little more caution, a couple days later.


Drive by Marriage.  Drive by Shark.  #fun