One of the local radio stations in the DC are started their
all-Christmas all the time programming on Friday. Last Friday. The
Friday before Thanksgiving. Christmas...
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!. It's been a year and you jump right into Christmas music?! What the hell?
It hasn't been a year.
Yes it has. Last November was your last post.
Right.
My annual "I Hate Thanksgiving" post. It isn't Thanksgiving, yet, as I
was mentioning before you rudely interrupted me. I thought I should
squeeze at least one in before my next "I Hate Thanksgiving" post. To go back to back seemed unseemly.
Well, good for you. Meanwhile, WE have been waiting for a fucking year.
EARMUFFS!
What?
Earmuffs! All you gotta do is say "earmuffs" and, oh forget it. If you don't get the reference, I don't even want to know you.
Hey, you only have about 7 loyal readers. I'm not sure you are in a position to offend any of us.
Well played.
It's been a fucking year, so what's up?
LANGUAGE!
OK. I'll watch my language. But it's been a year, what HAPPENED?
I had some stuff to do. Not getting into at the moment.
You
missed a ton. We never got your Rio 2016 Awards. No mention of the
NFL season. No basketball talk. No swimming talk. Caeleb Dressel won 7
gold medals at the World Championships. SEVEN! No Kill the Family
Tour. Come on, the US Men's soccer team failed to make the World Cup.
Yeah, that sucked.
I heard Middle won breaststroke at All Stars and broke the team record.
Yeah. That was cool.
That was cool? That's all you have to say?
OK.
That I enjoyed. My boys are pretty good swimmers, but not first in All
Stars good. I try to be supportive, but not crazy. I also try to
enjoy their experience, not their success. But that was awesome. And
very enjoyable. I almost wrote a blog post about it, but the motivation
came and went.
So you almost wrote a blog post?
Yeah. Over the past ALMOST 12 months, I have written several blog posts in my head. Just none on the computer.
Well, a lot of fucking good that does us?!
Earmuffs, man. Come on.
Oh, yeah. Sorry. So any Kill the Family?
We went to Cleveland.
Why in the world would anyone go to Cleveland?
What's
with the hostility. We went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, The Pro
Football Hall of Fame and Middle's Mecca - Quicken Loans Arena.
Cleveland was a nice city. Fun trip.
OK. What about you? Did you swim in the last year?
As
I have already made perfectly clear, it hasn't been a year. But yes, I
dropped 38 seconds in the 500 free. (Thank you, Rich Williams).
And no mention? What the, uh, why not?
Seems like bragging.
Still swimming?
Yes, and my whole body hurts. (Damn you, Rich Williams.)
Earmuffs?
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
So now you are back, to complain about Christmas music?
Oh
no, I wasn't complaining. This is awesome. I spent the weekend
watching top 10 videos on YouTube about Christmas songs and Christmas
specials and Christmas movies. Although, any list of the top 10
Christmas movies that has Love Actually as an honorable mention is clearly not worth much.
Why are you so excited about the Christmas music?
It's the most wonderful time...of the year. (You have that song in your head now don't you? No need to thank me.)
That's it?
No.
Saturday morning I drove 4 people to morning swim practice. I
excitedly told them about the Christmas music and put it on for them.
One 12 year old girl complained that she won't listen to Christmas music
before Thanksgiving. (Why such a downer at 12?) And this during
Frosty! Another 12 year old girl disagreed and said, "This is my jam."
I live to hear a 12 year old girl call Frosty her jam.
OK. That was a little funny. But it still doesn't make up for a year hiatus. You make a lot of promises you don't keep.
Yeah. Just be glad your not my wife.
Are you back?
Seems
like it. At a minimum, I need to hate Thanksgiving on Thursday.
PyeongChang 2018 starts in less than 100 days. I probably should get
into practice for that whirlwind tour.
Anything else?
We
should find a few things to talk about. I probably should have covered
the soccer season. Eldest was on an undefeated team. Youngest created
a new defensive technique of yelling "AHHHHHHHHH!" as he steamrolled
after players from the other team. There were some fun and exciting
moments and I left them in my memories, rather than in some far off
computer server's memory. I also failed you. There is plenty to cover
for a suburban sports dad.
Yeah, there fucking is. So don't do it again.
Earmu...OK. I deserve that.
