I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. As I stated just a couple of days ago, whether I have a nice Thanksgiving depends in large part on whether the Cowboys win. Despite coughing up the ball on the opening kick-off return and falling behind by scores of 7-0 and 21-7, they won, so my Thanksgiving was fine.
I didn't intend to post again on my least favorite holiday, but I received some criticism for my last post. Apparently, some people like Thanksgiving and found my less than enthusiastic opinion of our consumeristic, gluttony-filled holiday a tad off-putting. This despite pointing out how the day of gluttony and football is slowly being overtaken by holiday sales. I have enjoyed the evolution of "Black Friday" sales. It began with big sales on holiday hours the day after Thanksgiving. Then opening moved to 6 am, 5 am and 4 am. A few years ago, someone decided they could open at midnight. Eventually they moved it back to 10 pm Thursday, 8 pm Thursday and now, for many stores, 6 pm on Thursday. I imagine we are no more than 10 years away from sales starting at 6 am on Thursday, perhaps with stores closing from noon to 6 pm, so people can overstuff themselves on a bird that tastes so good I don't know anyone who eats it as a meal on any other day of the year except for Thanksgiving and Christmas. But I digress.
So, in the interest of taking the holiday back, finding its true meaning and throwing something positive on the day (other than a Cowboys victory, of which many of you do not share my enthusiasm), I give you my not complete list of things I am Thankful for (in no particular order).
Alex Morgan - for being today's blatantly obvious example that you can be a world class athlete and smoking hot at the same time...and not play tennis.
The Weather - for variety, heat, water, air and making my Anti-Diving Insider complain regularly about snow.
Snow - for bringing unparalleled joy to my three boys, as well as the occasional, unexpected day off for the family.
My three boys - for giving me a full rainbow of emotions, from elation to anger.
The US Men's National Soccer Team - for qualifying for Brazil 2014.
The Management Company at my office building - for not turning the heat on today, giving us an excuse to close early.
Darth Vader - for being the baddest man in the universe, and reminding us that it is never too late to realize the error of your ways.
A House - because you need a place to crash at night.
TiVO - possibly the greatest invention ever.
Chipotle - possibly the best restaurant ever.
Paula Creamer - for giving me a reason to love the color pink.
Michael Phelps - for showing us that the impossible is possible.
LeBron James - for being Middle's favorite athlete; I have no idea why.
Stuffed Animals - for always making things better.
The Rookery - for always being there, being faithful and being windy.
Chantilly High School Cross Country Team - for giving me a reason to follow high school sports.
Summer Swimming - for memories, fun, competition, socialization and turning Youngest into a dictator.
Daniel Snyder - for idiocy and incompetence.
The Wife - for just being her.
Friends and Family - for making life worth living.
Viggo Mortensen, Chris Hemsworth and David Boreanaz - for making the Wife feel like a teenage girl again.
Katy Perry - because she's a firework.
Hoosiers - for being the best sports movie ever.
Cherry Coke - no explanation needed.
And..
The Washington Wizards - for reminding me, and any other Wizards fan, that mediocrity is sometimes an admirable goal.
Enjoy Black Friday. And remember, sometimes mediocrity is an admirable goal.
Friday, November 29, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Happy Thanksgiving
After I dropped Youngest off at school today and was headed to drop off Middle and Eldest, Middle proclaimed that tomorrow, Thanksgiving, is his third favorite holiday. Intrigued by this, I asked for his top two. Not surprisingly, Christmas is number one. He surprised me by stating that Valentine's Day is his second favorite holiday. I am not exactly the most romantic or passionate man in the greater Washington DC metropolitan area, so I don't rank Valentine's Day very high. I was very interested in what makes Valentine's Day the second favorite holiday of a seven year old boy. It can't be the time he gets to spend with his girlfriend. Middle has a few girls who are friends, well maybe one, and he has certainly charmed his way deep into the heart of his summer swim coach/babysitter, who is a very attractive junior in college. But he has no girlfriends. Romance is as far away from his mind as cleaning his room. When I asked him "Why Valentine's Day?" he very simply replied, "Because we get free candy." Me thinks his mother and I spoil him too much. He stood his ground despite the objections from Eldest that the free candy haul from Halloween is greater than that of Valentine's Day. Middle is our passionate son and the one most likely to be a "player". I can't decide if his future girlfriends are going to be lucky or greatly disappointed, but I think this fondness for Valentine's Day at the age of seven says something about how he will act towards his significant others later in life. I don't know what it says, but it says something.
Thanksgiving is not my third favorite holiday. Nor my fourth or fifth or sixth. I'm not sure which holidays people usually count, but if you include Christmas, New Years Day, President's Day, MLK, Jr. Day, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving is my 11th favorite holiday. You can add Flag Day, Father's Day, Mother's Day and Administrative Assistant's Day, and Thanksgiving becomes my 15th favorite holiday. I think you get the point.
I dislike Thanksgiving for several reasons. It begins with the food. I don't like turkey. I don't like mashed potatoes that much. I don't like sweet potatos, most stuffing or green bean casseroles. I can handle stuffing made exactly the way I want it, and green beans, by themselves, are OK. I like rolls. I don't really like pie and I really dislike pumpkin pie. Seriously, why didn't the pilgrims just throw a pig on a spit and twirl him over the fire for a few days or go to the local butcher for some steaks? That would have made this whole Thanksgiving thing a lot better for everyone. Especially the turkeys. Of course, I guess it would look even sillier for the President to pardon a pig than it does for him to pardon a turkey.
I also lack fond memories of Thanksgiving. I know when I was very young we used to have Thanksgiving with my uncle's family, who lived in Annapolis. I remember that being fun, but for the fact that I was the youngest of all the cousins so typically the subject of any ridicule and the one least likely to win anything. My later years (i.e., teenage years) were not so fun. Thanksgiving was raking day at my house. My father would start raking at about 8 am. I was the youngest of his three sons. I usually woke around 9 and was often the first of the sons to get up. By that time, Dad was already upset that he had been raking alone for an hour. The last thing I wanted to do was rake, so I would dawdle through breakfast and watch a little TV. This made it worse. Eventually, we would head outside to help him. He generally took it well, but we knew he was upset, and that would set the tone for the remainder of the day.
This leads to another reason I don't like Thanksgiving. My house was always full of tension. Mom was cooking, and for some reason she would be in a bad mood. Dad was in a bad mood over the raking thing. My brothers and I, well, I guess we were fine, but we didn't enjoy spending the first half of the holiday raking. And we always had the tension over the Cowboys game. The 4:30 Cowboys game conflicts with a typical dinner time. My father doesn't like eating "dinner" early, because it messes up his schedule. My mom doesn't want us to watch football during dinner, or worse, race through dinner so we can go back to football. More tension.
One year, when I was about 22, I remember my parents getting into an argument about who knows what. After several minutes I decided to attempt to end this, so I grabbed a giant knife, started mimicking a cutting motion between them and said, "I am literally cutting the tension with a knife." Shockingly, my father found this amusing and moved on. Mom on the other hand became even more upset. I think she was partially annoyed that my father found it amusing. The end result was, yes, more tension. Even when I make a bad joke on Thanksgiving, I can't win.
Finally, I dislike Thanksgiving because the whole purpose of the day is too eat too much.. I am not opposed to eating. I'm not even that opposed to over-eating as a concept. I am, however, opposed to a holiday that celebrates over-eating and basically nothing else. When people talk about Thanksgiving, they talk about eating too much, loosening the belt, stuffing themselves. Every joke about Thanksgiving is about over-eating. OK, not every joke, some are about spending time with family members you don't like. Yes, football is part of the day. In theory, we are supposed to reflect on what we are thankful for, but no one really does that. People just eat and eat some more and eat some more. Then they watch football. Sure, other holidays involve eating, even eating to excess. The 4th of July comes to mind. But those other holidays have another major purpose or celebration. Like fireworks. Thanksgiving has nothing else. Just see how much food you can get down. Oh, yeah, I forgot, then go Christmas shopping.
It is not all negative. There are a few things I like. As a father, I enjoy the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. As each of my three boys has reached an age of realization, they have enjoyed the parade. Watching them dance to the songs, amaze at the floats and go crazy when Santa appears at the end is one of the greatest joys of the holiday season.
I also have some fond memories of Thanksgiving. In 2012, we spent 5 days in Williamsburg, VA. We ate at the Cheese Shop (which you must do if you go to Williamsburg), spent some time in Colonial Williamsburg, wandered around the campus of William and Mary and went to Christmastown at Busch Gardens. I even got to play a round of golf with my brothers. That was fun for the whole family. Although my father got grumbly about the football game and disappeared shortly before kick-off. That whole Redskins victory left something to be desired, too.
And that is the kicker for Thanksgiving. Every Thanksgiving, at 4:30 pm, the Cowboys play. Throughout my life, this has been part of Thanksgiving. My Mom used to plan dinner for halftime. The Wife always asks me when they play and when we should eat. In 2012, the whole family planned dinner to end just before kick-off. Whether or not I enjoy Thanksgiving has a lot more to do with the result of that game than just about anything else. Let's be honest, if you are still reading you are pretty aware that I'm not a fan. If the Cowboys lose, that's the wet added to an already cold day. If they win, its like a heated blanket has just been wrapped around me. Not to mention the turkey wasn't so bad this year, and chocolate chip cookies were available in lieu of pie, and everyone seemed to get along. I don't know if the Cowboys game is a good thing or not. I just know it matters.
In other news, Prince William sang "Livin' on a Prayer" with Jon Bon Jovi and Taylor Swift at a charity vent. I have always enjoyed Jon Bon Jovi. The Wife enjoys him perhaps a little too much. Taylor seemed to miss the dynamics of the situation, trying to turn a slow, acoustic version of the Bon Jovi classic into a rap video with overdone dancing and excessive hand gestures. The Prince was dead on. He debonairly adjusted his tie and joined in with the hair band superstar. Needless to say, It's good to be the King.
Two and a half months until the winter Olympics start and Lindsey Vonn is hurt again. I don't know how the ski team is selected, but things don't look good for the defending downhill gold medalist. I think all Olympic teams should be decided like the basketball team: Let Coach K decide because he is an American and he always wants to win. (Just a little nod to my Volleyball Insider and my Anti-Diving Isider.) We have much to cover in Olympic news over the next few months. This is a little appetizer.
With that, may I say, Happy Thanksgiving. Safe travels. And get your Christmas shopping started. Less than a month until Santa's glorious trip around the world.
Thanksgiving is not my third favorite holiday. Nor my fourth or fifth or sixth. I'm not sure which holidays people usually count, but if you include Christmas, New Years Day, President's Day, MLK, Jr. Day, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving is my 11th favorite holiday. You can add Flag Day, Father's Day, Mother's Day and Administrative Assistant's Day, and Thanksgiving becomes my 15th favorite holiday. I think you get the point.
I dislike Thanksgiving for several reasons. It begins with the food. I don't like turkey. I don't like mashed potatoes that much. I don't like sweet potatos, most stuffing or green bean casseroles. I can handle stuffing made exactly the way I want it, and green beans, by themselves, are OK. I like rolls. I don't really like pie and I really dislike pumpkin pie. Seriously, why didn't the pilgrims just throw a pig on a spit and twirl him over the fire for a few days or go to the local butcher for some steaks? That would have made this whole Thanksgiving thing a lot better for everyone. Especially the turkeys. Of course, I guess it would look even sillier for the President to pardon a pig than it does for him to pardon a turkey.
I also lack fond memories of Thanksgiving. I know when I was very young we used to have Thanksgiving with my uncle's family, who lived in Annapolis. I remember that being fun, but for the fact that I was the youngest of all the cousins so typically the subject of any ridicule and the one least likely to win anything. My later years (i.e., teenage years) were not so fun. Thanksgiving was raking day at my house. My father would start raking at about 8 am. I was the youngest of his three sons. I usually woke around 9 and was often the first of the sons to get up. By that time, Dad was already upset that he had been raking alone for an hour. The last thing I wanted to do was rake, so I would dawdle through breakfast and watch a little TV. This made it worse. Eventually, we would head outside to help him. He generally took it well, but we knew he was upset, and that would set the tone for the remainder of the day.
This leads to another reason I don't like Thanksgiving. My house was always full of tension. Mom was cooking, and for some reason she would be in a bad mood. Dad was in a bad mood over the raking thing. My brothers and I, well, I guess we were fine, but we didn't enjoy spending the first half of the holiday raking. And we always had the tension over the Cowboys game. The 4:30 Cowboys game conflicts with a typical dinner time. My father doesn't like eating "dinner" early, because it messes up his schedule. My mom doesn't want us to watch football during dinner, or worse, race through dinner so we can go back to football. More tension.
One year, when I was about 22, I remember my parents getting into an argument about who knows what. After several minutes I decided to attempt to end this, so I grabbed a giant knife, started mimicking a cutting motion between them and said, "I am literally cutting the tension with a knife." Shockingly, my father found this amusing and moved on. Mom on the other hand became even more upset. I think she was partially annoyed that my father found it amusing. The end result was, yes, more tension. Even when I make a bad joke on Thanksgiving, I can't win.
Finally, I dislike Thanksgiving because the whole purpose of the day is too eat too much.. I am not opposed to eating. I'm not even that opposed to over-eating as a concept. I am, however, opposed to a holiday that celebrates over-eating and basically nothing else. When people talk about Thanksgiving, they talk about eating too much, loosening the belt, stuffing themselves. Every joke about Thanksgiving is about over-eating. OK, not every joke, some are about spending time with family members you don't like. Yes, football is part of the day. In theory, we are supposed to reflect on what we are thankful for, but no one really does that. People just eat and eat some more and eat some more. Then they watch football. Sure, other holidays involve eating, even eating to excess. The 4th of July comes to mind. But those other holidays have another major purpose or celebration. Like fireworks. Thanksgiving has nothing else. Just see how much food you can get down. Oh, yeah, I forgot, then go Christmas shopping.
It is not all negative. There are a few things I like. As a father, I enjoy the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. As each of my three boys has reached an age of realization, they have enjoyed the parade. Watching them dance to the songs, amaze at the floats and go crazy when Santa appears at the end is one of the greatest joys of the holiday season.
I also have some fond memories of Thanksgiving. In 2012, we spent 5 days in Williamsburg, VA. We ate at the Cheese Shop (which you must do if you go to Williamsburg), spent some time in Colonial Williamsburg, wandered around the campus of William and Mary and went to Christmastown at Busch Gardens. I even got to play a round of golf with my brothers. That was fun for the whole family. Although my father got grumbly about the football game and disappeared shortly before kick-off. That whole Redskins victory left something to be desired, too.
And that is the kicker for Thanksgiving. Every Thanksgiving, at 4:30 pm, the Cowboys play. Throughout my life, this has been part of Thanksgiving. My Mom used to plan dinner for halftime. The Wife always asks me when they play and when we should eat. In 2012, the whole family planned dinner to end just before kick-off. Whether or not I enjoy Thanksgiving has a lot more to do with the result of that game than just about anything else. Let's be honest, if you are still reading you are pretty aware that I'm not a fan. If the Cowboys lose, that's the wet added to an already cold day. If they win, its like a heated blanket has just been wrapped around me. Not to mention the turkey wasn't so bad this year, and chocolate chip cookies were available in lieu of pie, and everyone seemed to get along. I don't know if the Cowboys game is a good thing or not. I just know it matters.
In other news, Prince William sang "Livin' on a Prayer" with Jon Bon Jovi and Taylor Swift at a charity vent. I have always enjoyed Jon Bon Jovi. The Wife enjoys him perhaps a little too much. Taylor seemed to miss the dynamics of the situation, trying to turn a slow, acoustic version of the Bon Jovi classic into a rap video with overdone dancing and excessive hand gestures. The Prince was dead on. He debonairly adjusted his tie and joined in with the hair band superstar. Needless to say, It's good to be the King.
Two and a half months until the winter Olympics start and Lindsey Vonn is hurt again. I don't know how the ski team is selected, but things don't look good for the defending downhill gold medalist. I think all Olympic teams should be decided like the basketball team: Let Coach K decide because he is an American and he always wants to win. (Just a little nod to my Volleyball Insider and my Anti-Diving Isider.) We have much to cover in Olympic news over the next few months. This is a little appetizer.
With that, may I say, Happy Thanksgiving. Safe travels. And get your Christmas shopping started. Less than a month until Santa's glorious trip around the world.
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